Back at the hospital yesterday.
Saw a new and young Doctor who didn't have much idea about Myeloma and said some crass things. Like: "Oh your Myeloma is barely detectable" - err.. do you know something we don't? He was looking at the drop from 690 to 75 on the Freelite test last time. 75 is not "barely detectable"! Or the classic comment - "It's not as if the Velcade is a CURE". And, well, yes that is true, but it sure as hell can hold back death for a while, so please don't pop our balloon!
But yesterday was also the day when my manager basically warned me to watch myself because I wasn't performing at a level commensurate with my grade (nice!) and I had better stop complaining that I don't have enough to do. Can anyone else see the contradiction in those two statements?!
And the day the kids couldn't fly to their dad's for Christmas because the airport was closed. (Trying again today, but the snow is falling heavily...)
And the day when my car doors are frozen shut so I can't get in... except the driver's door which is frozen OPEN and with the best will in the world I can't drive with one hand and hold the door shut with the other. Last night I could only get into it to drive home by climbing in through the boot and getting a colleague to shut it behind me!
So FL had to drive me in to work today and was going insane at the traffic and the snow and basically was not coping with the whole experience. I blame the Velcade, the Dexies and a sleepless night.
So I have decided that today is my last day at work before Christmas. Because my stress levels are through the roof, and I need to be at home with FL and probably my kids too. I have plenty of Annual Leave to take so I am taking it. (And as previously explained I have nothing much to do in the office anyway!)
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4 comments:
Sorry you're having such a stressful time. Hope that the Christmas break will refresh you. xx
Ok... Now that you're off for a few days for Christmas... Do this with me... Arms and hands out to your side like your going to start flying. Shake them a little bit... Big deep breath, in and out several times... Wait for it...Wait for it... Wait for it... Now RELAX.... and let all the stress go.. It all will be there next week and nothing you can do about it until then anyway. Enjoy the time off and Merry Christmas.
Breathe, please, deep breaths...
What a load of stress you have there! Hope things are better for Christmas (and the kids get to their dad).
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