We had such hopes on Friday! FL was feeling more energetic and although he didn't eat much while we were out, we had a relaxed restaurant meal.
But the rest of the weekend was about pain. I haven't really thought before about how many different sorts of pain there are, even though I know it's the first question doctors ask: "What KIND of pain is it?".
Fl has been putting up with several sorts of pain. There is the regular sort - the gnawing, toothachey pain he gets in his lower back, which he mostly ignores. He stopped taking painkillers soon after he was released from hospital following his MM diagnosis back in 2007. He said he wanted to know what was going on.
Then there is the sudden stabbing pain which he used to feel very very occasionally - perhaps once a week. It came from nowhere, could strike anywhere, and was gone as soon as it arrived. Like a magic bullet passing through, but leaving no wound. That's what he thought of it as: "the magic bullet", and he liked to think it was the chemo zapping a myeloma site. This weekend, there have been lots and lots of bullets. Like electric shocks of pain, in the most unexpected places - between his toes, at the back of his skull, in his groin. Last night I counted a dozen jolts, which woke me up, and set his body jumping next to me in bed.
But now he also has a cramping pain which has seized hold of his bowels / digestive system over the past few months. We blamed the Velcade. But the trouble has not gone away since he took his last dose on 4th February. Unless he takes laxatives, his bowels stubbornly refuse to move. But the laxatives cause him to explode and leave him weak and tired. He knows he is hungry, but doesn't want to eat because he feels it makes things worse.
It may be something simple, like an imbalance of flora and fauna in his gut. He is still taking Acyclovir (an antiviral) which might be causing this. I suggested he tries eating live yoghurt, but he is dubious.
But he has at last grudgingly agreed to start taking painkillers. Just Paracetamol at the moment. But believe me, this is a whole new scenario for FL. He just doesn't "do" painkillers! Last night, when he gave in and took two pills at 2am, he slept soundly through to 5am, and it was such a relief for both of us.
This week I am insisting he sees his GP to get some proper advice.