So once again I have to thank my bloggy friends for your support. It is, after all, why I blog - to say what I have to say and hope that it maybe resonates with someone out there enough for them to say "I understand. Don't worry - it's OK to feel that way."Please, have a blueberry lemon cupcake, each one of you! (Sorry the icing "split" but it still tastes good!)
Yes, you are right, I probably do need to talk to someone about all the stuff that's been going on. And I am a bit short of real-live-people. There's... my mother. Err yes. I ring her once a week and she tells me I have annoying speech habits and could I stop saying "Oh well", please? (I don't.) So she's not a candidate. And then there's... um. That's my lot I'm afraid. No brothers or sisters. No girly pals. I am not so desperate that I would ring my ex with my tales of woe. Even if he was still speaking to me. So it can feel a bit lonely. Mostly it doesn't bother me, 'cos it was ever thus, but lately it has been gnawing away at me that I really really need to find some friendly human beings, because once FL is gone, I will be A-LONE. Gulp.
The thing that tipped the balance this week was my son's University application. He hadn't shown me all the correspondence he had received and he hadn't realised he needed to acknowledge an invitation to submit his art portfolio. It had to be done by 17 March and I was shown the letter on the 23rd. Blind panic! I rang his school. The Social Ed teacher took the reins and got the Boy to ring the University from her office and grovel. He was allowed to email back the form. The University had just that morning made the decision not to accept any further forms because they are over-subscribed this year. Skin of his teeth.
But it also became clear he has just 2 weeks to submit the actual portfolio... and he hasn't got one. He has a whole heap of rough art work, and partial animations on dvd, but none of it is finished or mounted or in any way ready for presentation. He thought the school would tell him what to do and when to do it. Wrong. So he will be spending the first week of his Easter holiday in the art department under the wing of the Head of Department... and I will be ordering a courier to speed the resulting package to its destination before the deadline.
I feel like I dropped the ball. He is only 17. And yes, it is HIS future, but I do have responsibilities. I thought the school would guide him through it, but clearly they assume that parents are more... controlling. That they see letters coming into the house and ask their kids what was in there. Have files for their applications. Have calendars and "to do" lists. Considering my own post gets submerged in FL's newspapers and then thrown into the recycling bin before I have even seen it, what hope do I have of monitoring my son's mail?!
So... BLAH! Control has been regained once again. He "just" has to do the work now.
FL saw his GP yesterday and asked for a referral for an ultrasound. And he got an anti-spasmodic drug out of them too - hooray!
And he went to the optician too! But refused glasses - he took the prescription and walked out. But it's a start!
Yes, you are right, I probably do need to talk to someone about all the stuff that's been going on. And I am a bit short of real-live-people. There's... my mother. Err yes. I ring her once a week and she tells me I have annoying speech habits and could I stop saying "Oh well", please? (I don't.) So she's not a candidate. And then there's... um. That's my lot I'm afraid. No brothers or sisters. No girly pals. I am not so desperate that I would ring my ex with my tales of woe. Even if he was still speaking to me. So it can feel a bit lonely. Mostly it doesn't bother me, 'cos it was ever thus, but lately it has been gnawing away at me that I really really need to find some friendly human beings, because once FL is gone, I will be A-LONE. Gulp.
The thing that tipped the balance this week was my son's University application. He hadn't shown me all the correspondence he had received and he hadn't realised he needed to acknowledge an invitation to submit his art portfolio. It had to be done by 17 March and I was shown the letter on the 23rd. Blind panic! I rang his school. The Social Ed teacher took the reins and got the Boy to ring the University from her office and grovel. He was allowed to email back the form. The University had just that morning made the decision not to accept any further forms because they are over-subscribed this year. Skin of his teeth.
But it also became clear he has just 2 weeks to submit the actual portfolio... and he hasn't got one. He has a whole heap of rough art work, and partial animations on dvd, but none of it is finished or mounted or in any way ready for presentation. He thought the school would tell him what to do and when to do it. Wrong. So he will be spending the first week of his Easter holiday in the art department under the wing of the Head of Department... and I will be ordering a courier to speed the resulting package to its destination before the deadline.
I feel like I dropped the ball. He is only 17. And yes, it is HIS future, but I do have responsibilities. I thought the school would guide him through it, but clearly they assume that parents are more... controlling. That they see letters coming into the house and ask their kids what was in there. Have files for their applications. Have calendars and "to do" lists. Considering my own post gets submerged in FL's newspapers and then thrown into the recycling bin before I have even seen it, what hope do I have of monitoring my son's mail?!
So... BLAH! Control has been regained once again. He "just" has to do the work now.
FL saw his GP yesterday and asked for a referral for an ultrasound. And he got an anti-spasmodic drug out of them too - hooray!
And he went to the optician too! But refused glasses - he took the prescription and walked out. But it's a start!
I just had a sudden vision of myself as an old-style air-traffic-controller, waving flags around my head in the hope that the pilots are watching. This much I can do. But I can't fly the damned planes for them.
11 comments:
I am not going to say anything that has not been said previously, I do concur with them. Can total strangers be any help? Could one of us fulfill the listening post position? Please, just sit down and take 3 deep deep breaths. Concentrate on those breaths... {{{{{ }}}}}}
Don't be scared. You're doing a great job.
I'm sure everyone else is better qualified to advice as I've never been in your situation but don't forget to take care of yourself.
Have a cupcake on me!
Mmmmmmmm. *crumbs fly everywhere* Thank you for the scrummy cake. I'm like you, "Billy no mates", so like you my blog is an outlet for thoughts and emotions. I am already eternally grateful to "the strangers" who have befriended me, and I still have so far to go.
Your air traffic controller image is a good one (except that you probably don't have the power that they have!). When my children were teenagers and my husband was going through a very bad patch I used to feel like a maypole. In the centre of all the activity, trying to maintain some control of the tangled ribbons, keeping everyone in order, but knowing that if they dropped the ribbons they were the only thing holding me up...
youa re doing fabulously Roo with all that is going on around. I've pm'd you my number on rav. Feel free to use it any time:)
'sfunny, I had a dream about flying, this morning! I could do it in the dark, but was having trouble in the daylight. Gawd knows why.
You Are doing a great job, though it won't feel like it. I take it your son's school know of the situation? If so, they Can help. Kids, eh? btw, they never grow out of it, you know! I've now got to persuade my 32 year old daughter to re-apply for DLA, and help her fill out the form properly, gah!
love and hugs, x
It isn't that you aren't in control... That is just kids.. I still have to hammer my son from time to time, and he is 29 years old! I can't tell you how many times I have looked in wonder when he thought it would just all work out! It is really a guy thing, you just have to keep up the pressure. Do some internet searching for a semi-local group. The support group I choose is 3 hours away. But they contact me mostly by email and give me good advise and support. It will help to know you are not alone!
Yummy - and thank you! Yes, blogging is a social event of sorts, and for those of us who are limited in pals, it is a wonderful place to exchange. Letting the school step in is a good idea and since most people really do like to help, gives them a chance to be 'noble.' But when you're in the middle of the swamp and there are alligators all around, it is difficult to know which one needs to be whacked on the nose to make sure it doesn't bite you..... please keep reaching out - and we'll keep listening, which is what - from this distance - I can do best... rah rah! yer pal... Sandy
I just wrote a 3 page tomb on how fab you are and how well you cope and loads of sound advice :o) including dealing with 17 yo boys, buying glasses online and meeting for coffee and crafting.
Then blogland deleted it!!!
ARGHH
i go away for a few days and I miss out on a blueberry lemon cupcake and i love any cake with lemon in! It's just not fair. x
A few days behind with my blog-reading, but just wanted to say Roo that you *do* have friends, who are pleased to listen and help, even if you just haven't met them yet :)
I think you do an amazing job, and I won't let you tell yourself otherwise.
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