Monday, January 14, 2013

Boo Hisssssss

Ha!  Be sure your readers will stalk you until you show your new haircut!

Here you are Lorna - a bit blurry and still grey ; )

(Lorna called me out for posting yesterday and then taking the blog straight back down before anyone got a chance to read my tales of woe or laugh at my hair.)

Here is how it went:  I tried a new hairdresser in the local town.  She was evil.  I am still recovering from the brush battering / ear-snipping / hair-pulling experience.  Luckily it was just a cut I asked for.  I cannot imagine what would have happened if colour had been involved.

There was some mis-communication.  I asked for an asymmetric bob (my mistake).  "Fit?" (translation:  "Pardon?")  "Ye mean ye want it squint?"  Um, yes I suppose so, yes...  "But it isnae squint the noo!" (It is not asymmetric at the current time)  That's why I want it cut...?  "Ye sure?" (Can you confirm your instructions?) Mmm hmm.  "Ye're nae fae here are ye?" (You do not originate from this part of the world do you?)  Um... yes, actually...

In the end I just shut my eyes and hoped for the best.  The result is OK but I won't be repeating the experience.  She made me feel like such a snob, and I'm not, honest!  I just... speak English.  OMG I hate living in this place sometimes.

AND it cost me more than my usual city stylist.  AND her scissors were blunt.  AND I was kept waiting half an hour with no apology / explanation / offer of a drink. AND she ostentatiously plonked a cashbox on the counter alongside the card machine to ensure I understood where to put the tip.  TIP?  ARE YOU INSANE?


So, yes, my last attempt at describing the weekend was an uphill struggle.



Squint, you might say.

Not unlike my attempts to find dry logs in the sleet, with the camera hanging from a tree.  But at least I got them indoors before the snow began in earnest.  We have about 6 inches on the ground now.

All weekend we had a fire that gave off more steam than smoke. Hisssssssss.

 
So I did what I always do in such circumstances.

I made a cake.  Apple Streusel cake, to be precise.

And I abandoned my battle with a paper pattern and settled down with a good book and my knitting.

Life is good again. The End.

24 comments:

Elise said...

Haha ok I'm gonna guess you're a fellow Scots going by that conversation! My friend at school always said I 'talked posh' just because I didn't sound like that! Lovely haircut though... :)

Judith said...

So funny!!! Just love it when different accents/dialects try to have an intelligent basic conversation - your haircut looks good...J

didyoumakethat said...

Traumatic the experience may have been, but lovely the hair cut is. It really suits you! Ha, ha - colloquial dialogue reminds me of every single time I go home to Derbyshire, where I grew up. 20+ years on, some people still can't find it in themselves to forgive me the crime of moving down to London. Ideas above my station, you know...

sophie (monbouton) said...

Oh dear, I already the going to the hairdresser but this one sounds awful! It's lucky you're not horrified by the result :)

Sew little time said...

Hahaha. As another "posh" scottish person I am loving this post

Mary in TN said...

How funny. I can hardly imagine my Dad's great-grandparents with that kind of accent. Don't know much about them other than they were from the Dundee area. And here I am with a very southern American accent. Seriously, I like that bob. And the apple cake would always be a winner in my house.

soisewedthis said...

i would've had no clue what she was taking about! i always get asked "where are you from?" because i must not have a "southern accent." but, i've always lived here. that apple streusel cake looks fabulous. i wish i had some right now!

sylkotwist said...

Oh Roo! The haircut is great despite the trauma. I had to take nurofen after the hairdressers once, she bashed me about so much! Your cake looks yum!

Donna said...

I'm sorry to laugh at your pain, but that is a good tale to tell! And your haircut looks lovely in that photo, btw.

Lorna A said...

Thank you. It looks wonderful. :-)

I think you're posh too, but that's because you have a duck pond. ;-)

sewstyled.wordpress.com said...

Although it was a traumatic experience, it looks good! I shouldn't grumble about the high cost of my haircuts- she is fast (in and out in about 30-35 minutes), rarely need to wait, and she treats me the same although I stopped tipping several years ago because her prices went up so much.

Marie said...

The new hair do looks great, despite the dreadful experience! Nothing like a good bit of baking and knitting to make everything better again ;o)

Valerie said...

Oh dear! I have trouble communicating with hairdressers in any language..glad you got the cut you wanted and still have two ears remaining lol

beate said...

communication with hairdressers - ph!
last time was 1994? so i wear my hair long and gray and every morning it go´s in an updo out of the way. sometimes get bored of this, sometimes i make funny nice things with this lot of material.....
last night was -10°C here. and snow - love snow :-)

starryfishathome said...

You've reminded me why I have been going to the same hairdressers for 25 years! The end result looks fine to me.

Minnado said...

Oh, I hear you! I live in a small town where I don't speak with the local accent. I talk "posh southern" apparently and have had similar depressing experiences in local hairdressers. I am convinced the notion of service/hot drinks etc in a hairdressers has yet to reach this locale! Anyway, your hair does look lovely. Apple stereusel cake sounds fab. Yum, yum. xx

Lynne said...

Your hair is lovely, but what a nightmare hairdresser! And I can't believe she had the cheek to wave the tip box at you!! Humph!!!

Linda C said...

Nice haircut, very flattering. Do you find the long side area gets in your way? I had a similar one and I found that I had to get a child's barrette (Hair clip) and loosely pin a small bit back. I still had the same effect, just not the loose hair .

I hope you took great pleasure in not leaving a tip- or perhaps a better insult or comment would be to leave a dime. Of course - will you go back? Think she's the type to take vengeance on the non-tipper next time?

LindaC

Sarah Rooftops said...

Ha ha! I am also "posh" by Aberdeenshire standards because I know how to pronounce the letter W.

rosyragpatch said...

Despite the traumatic experience your hair looks very good.
Fantastic looking cake - I'd love to try it right now.

LinB said...

Oh, la! what a terrible experience. I've only ever been to a hairdresser thrice in my life, and once was when my mother dragged me to Cousin Juanita Horney's place when I was 13 (yes, I have Horney relatives. I also have relatives who are Dicks. Let us not speak of this again). Otherwise, either my barber father whacks at my head, or I trim it myself with a really good pair of hair shears. You could probably achieve asymmetry on your own.

Scruffybadger said...

O roo!! You tell it so well, and you know I am so grateful for your translation, I didn't get it. Talking 1980s local, I'd say your new style is " gert lush" ( now I have used this phrase recently in a comment on an American blog and no idea what the reaction was, but I could rely on Jane to appreciate it!!)

acharmofmagpies said...

I read this the first time in many reader but was stymied when I clicked through to comment by the lack of actual post. But this version is better.

I shouldn't laugh but your translation had me in stitches. And the result looks great! And its amazing what knitting and can can fix.

Violet said...

reminds me of when I starting reading Irving Welsh's Trainspotters. Took me ages to work out what they were saying.
I used to have an asymmetric bob. Loved it, but it required frequent trims. so I now have a symmetrical one.