Friday, December 11, 2015

Advent sock day 11

First of all:  your comments and offers of support, both practical and psychological, are just amazing. Thank you thank you thank you from both of us.

This advent countdown has taken on a whole new layer of meaning for me.  This was never supposed to be a misery memoir, but I need to get it out and the blog has been my journal of choice for all these years, so... it is what it is.  If it is too much for you, I understand and won't hold it against you if you need to stop reading and come back in happier times.

I got to the hospital at 11-ish, after a long walk with the dog, who is clearly in need of extra support right now.  He raided the recycling bin while I was out yesterday!
FL was asleep in his chair, so I took up residence with my sparkly sock.
He woke soon after and we had a surprisingly lucid conversation for maybe 15 minutes, before he subsided again.  He is now the reluctant owner of a zimmer frame and is not amused by it.  But at least it means he now has a chance of getting to the toilet in time.  I witnessed another patient press his buzzer and wait almost half an hour to get some attention.
Lots more sleeping.
Then lunch.
I woke him to take his soup, but the fish defeated him.
I made a declaration of intent, and set off to find someone who could tell me what was planned. Because nothing has happened yet, other than monitoring and waiting.  And more waiting.
By chance, I met the haematology doctor by the lift.  She told me that the consultant was definitely coming to see FL today, probably around 3pm. I caught her off guard and without thinking she said "He is looking terrible!"  Um, yes.
Back on the ward, I managed to treat FLto some sliced pear and made him smile with the offer of a "finger of Fudge", a children's treat.  He didn't fancy it, but the smile was lovely to see.
So at 4pm the consultant came.  He woke up and was pleased to see her.  He said he knew things were bad when he started to get paranoid and confused.  That is the first time he has admitted that.
She told him he needs to stay in hospital so they can keep an eye on him day to day, hopefully in the Haematology ward as soon as a bed becomes available.  A blood transfusion is still planned.  He can't go home until he can move around safely:  a physio needs to do some work with him.
In a quieter tone she said to me: "I think we have to accept that this is the way things are.  His myeloma has increased and he is increasingly frail."
Which is probably the closest she will ever come to telling me the whole truth.



Let's continue with sock B by knitting 11 rounds. The colour of the day is determined by your blood type.
  • A: red
  • B:blue
  • AB: purple
  • O: black
  • Unknown: gray
HAHAHAHA hysterical Haematological socks!
And I don't have a clue what my blood type is.
So grey it is.

28 comments:

Laura said...

For what it's worth, it doesn't read like a misery memoir. You're both awesome and handling what life is throwing at you, which just happens to be rubbish at the moment. Glad you got a smile today :)

I used to know my blood group but I've forgotten since I stopped giving. I am the proud owner of a 'cease and desist' order from the blood clinic after passing out twice in a row after giving, they suggested that it might not be a great idea for someone with rather low blood pressure!

We went through a similar routine with hospitals and treatment and physios and doctors at the start of the year with J's family. I noticed that they were doing everything they could to get the patient home, even if we thought it was impossible - they didn't give up. Hang on in there, love. Xxx

Emma said...

Oh Roo. If only we could scoop you both up and soothe you, gently rocking you through this. I really hope they get a move on with the transfusion. FL will feel so much better then.
Knit on! and all that.

loop and bar said...

Keep talking, we are all listening, and we are all there with you.
xx

Jenni said...

Agree with loop and bar, we're listening, sometimes it's all you can do and we're with you with our thoughts and hearts. Sock is looking good 😊

jlynn said...

I am sending comforting thoughts and prayers to you and FL. I don't think your blog is about misery, I think it is a blog about true love and passion for your crafts and trying to live a true life.

Saffi said...

I like what jenni said. We can't be there to help out in real life, but we'll be here through the blog.

K.Line said...

Your recounting of this is truly amazing. xo

from103 said...

Thinking of you both every day- really tough. Talking about it is really important and something that in my humble opinion is something we could all do more of so if it helps you in any way, please keep writing. We are here to listen- wish we could so more. So glad you shared a smile today!

Jodie said...

Roo...there are no words. Life sure can suck some times. As I'm in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and can't do anything practical like walk the dog or make you some soup or give you a hug then I can read and acknowledge and pray. If it gives you comfort then do it. And you shouldn't keep this bottled up inside. I glad that you got some lucid conversation and a smile. I hope for that again for you for tomorrow.

Mary Danielson said...

Thinking of you both! I concur with all other wise words here--happy to be listening virtually, as long as you are writing. I hope for more good conversations and moments, tomorrow!

poppyinstitches said...

think of you, and with the others above. x

Sadie said...

Oh, Roo *hugs*. I'm checking in every day to see how things are going for you both, and "holding you in the light", as the Quakers say.

Sew little time said...

Its not a misery memoir, it's just how life is sometimes. Eveyone is rooting for you both. X

Sew little time said...

Its not a misery memoir, it's just how life is sometimes. Eveyone is rooting for you both. X

Saffi said...

I like what jenni said. We can't be there to help out in real life, but we'll be here through the blog.

Miss Norm said...

Thank you for your wonderful blog, a blog which has reduced me to tears at times and, given ,e lots of siles. Like many of the other lovely comments people have made, I too, wish I could reach out and give you a hug, or, do something that could help you both, but from a distance I am sending you much love.

You have nearly inspired me to start to knit socks, the only problem is you have to make 2, you see I am very good at starting a project but not good at finishing !!!

Keep smiling Roo and much love to your FL

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

JustSewJenna said...

I have just had a big catch up and I was so sorry to read that FL is now in hospital. I am holding you both in my thoughts and sending virtual hugs. It is not a misery memoir but an inspirational way of dealing with a shitty situation. Keep on knitting xxxx

unlabelled clothes said...

I'm thinking of you Ruth & sending you a hug. All that comes across when I read the posts is the unconditional love and how amazing it is that you have each other.

Melissa said...

Keep writing. We are all reading and saying our prayers, sending our thoughts and wishing you both well even if we don't always leave comments.

Keep knitting - sock is looking amazing.

I hope you remember to take care of yourself too...maybe sneak in a little of that fudge? ;-)

Athene said...

It's not a misery memoir, it's a fantastic and very honest blog which I've enjoyed reading for some time and I'm not going to stop reading now. I can't offer any practical help but I hope the knowledge that so many people, even those you've never met, are thinking of you is some help. I hope you can get the help that FL needs to return home, I'm sure he'd rather be there.

Flossie in Stitches said...

Whether you are sitting with FL, or at home with Hero, know that we are there with you. Wish there was more I could do. Sending virtual hugs. xxx

rosylea said...

Often reading, rarely commenting, but always enjoying your writings. I'm so sorry that things have taken this turn; you are both in my thoughts and I do wish you the very best. Hoping very much that FL can get home with you soon!
The sock is extraordinary...

Su-z said...

I think it's obvious you're not losing any readers, but gaining fans. People love to cheer for others when it's so clearly needed. I went through a similar situation with a loved one years ago, and nearly our entire town received email updates of the daily details (this was before I blogged). It was helpful for us to communicate and express feelings and for others to get updates without "bothering us". And I was surprised at how much better it made me feel to hear that so many people were praying or thinking of us. I look back on that time as a blessing for all the friendships that were created due to a circumstance that many would consider tragic.

I'm glad that you have your socks to help distract you, and thank you for sharing your days with us. I think about you two often, and hope for peace and health.
Susie

MaryinTN said...

Ruth, hope that you and FL get home soon and that he is stronger than he has been lately. Hugs and prayer for you both

ambermog said...

Thank goodness for an honest doctor even when the news isn't what we want to hear. Strikes such a chord with me at the moment. Talk away Roo it's good to get things out of our heads it saves it festering. Sending more love and strength for you both xx

Miss said...

Peace be with you both xxxx

Lorna A said...

Roo it is definitely not a misery, not compared to my blog any way. ;-) xxx

The Coffee Lady said...

I've been reading your blog quietly for a long time, and never quite feeling close enough to comment. But I wanted to let you know that I'm thinking and praying about you, and that this space is always beautiful, whether it's for for your honesty, your sewing or your stripy socks.