Sunday, December 20, 2015

Advent sock day 20

I have been gathering a great deal of knowledge, inspiration and support from the experiences so many of you have been sharing in the comments.  I thank you once again.
This all reminds me of when I had my first child:  I was promised so much in the lead up to the birth:  an ambulance to the hospital, a lovely room with ensuite facilities, the use of a birthing pool if I wanted one, a TENS machine... the list went on.  But when it came to New Year's Day 199x and I was pretty sure my son was on his way, there was no room (at the inn), no ambulance, no pool, no fancy pain relief machine available. Never attempt to give birth on the NHS on a public holiday, ladies!
Now, at the other end of the continuum, again there seem to be unwritten rules about how to access the help that is supposed to be out there.  I am relying on the MacMillan nurse to help us navigate through the maze.  I just hope nothing happens outside of office hours!
Today was a peaceful day on the farm.
FL was up before me, at 6am, and took morphine instead of paracetamol by mistake, but fortunately only an hour before it was due.
He told me that the hospital doctor had informed him that he is no longer allowed to drive a vehicle.  I wish they had told me too, because that is the sort of information he might have chosen not to share with me.  But now I know. 
He didn't want breakfast or dinner today, but managed to walk with my support as far as the bothy and back  - just a few yards, but that is further than in recent weeks.
He spent the day sleeping and reading. He was able to concentrate on a golfer's biography.  We'll get back to his own book soon, I think.  

Continue sock A by knitting 20 rounds with a color you draw inspiration from the date. Wikipedia has listed all birthdays, deaths and important events that have happened December 20th.

Call me uncultured, but I had never heard of most of the famous people in the birthday list and I definitely wasn't in the mood to celebrate a death. So I plumped for the one that jumped out at me - Happy Birthday to Jenny Agutter! 
I was inspired by her role in The Railway Children, in which she famously waved her red petticoat like a flag to stop the train.  
Red it is :)
Picture copied from Telegraph website, credited to ALAMY


ambermog said...

Macmillan are excellent, they have provided so much information for me with Mr Mogs chemo etc. Sending more vibes and strength your way xx

Sally Blackledge said...

PALS seems to be PASS in Scotland and is associated with Citizens Advice. The behaviour you describe in hospital sounds utterly unacceptable. Her managers may be unaware of what seems like subtle bullying. Effective in a way that is hard to pin down or to prove. Apparently trivial, but in fact humiliating and enraging. Good that you have a record of events. At the very least, a complaint should feature in her record. All good wishes to you both and the dog.

Wakeymakes said...

Thanks for a calm day K xXx

Jenny Larking said...

Sounds to me like a good day. May you have many more.

annieloveslinen said...

Sounds like you're regaining your equilibrium after a frenetic and worrying few weeks, having said that, you'll have to get up early in the morning to keep up with FL!

Amelia said...

Sending love to you both, and strength for when you need to lean on others.

Athene said...

Glad to hear FL is feeling brighter. Will be thinking of you.

spabbygirl said...

Blessings to you both & may you have many more happy days xx

Sarahel said...

This sounds much more like the sort of days you should be spending together just now. Hoping you get many more.

Jennifer Hill said...

I'm not managing to keep up with blog reading at the mo, or I'd have commented before; I've read yours first so have now caught up...I'm so pleased you are now off work. It must be a huge relief. One less thing to worry about. I, too, had thought about compassionate leave or sick leave so am so pleased for you its now sorted. Also that FL is now back at home, where you both want him to be, despite the difficulties, and I do understand how stressful they must be for you, and how fricking frustrating (insert stronger word of choice). The Macmillan nurse sounds fantastic. 'That' Nurse sounds a cow and I wouldn't hesitate in complaining; if noone does anything nothing will be done, though having said that, obviously you have other priorities right now. I do understand what you said about the responsibility and being maybe overwhelmed by it, at least partially or sometimes. I felt that terribly when my mum was ill and don't feel I did a very good job, unlike you, who is doing all the right things, honestly, even if it doesn't feel like it. All you can do, in our currently muddled system, is access the right people (the Macmillan nurse being the most useful I suspect), ask questions, trust your instincts and keep being you. You are a fabulous support and FL is so lucky to have you. Going back to FL getting cold, if its still a problem would an electric over blanket help? Thinking of you, even when I don't comment, Jen

Lynne said...

I am hoping and crossing fingers and praying that your Macmillan nurse will sort things out, and maybe they can help wih Hospice. If you have a local Hospice, you might be able to take contact yourself. We took patients who came, families who brought patients, doctor referrals... all of it. So it might be as easy as a phone call to your local Hospice... and then I hope you will feel able to rest easy that FL is getting good care in his own home and you will be supported during this very difficult and personal time.

Lizzi said...

I hesitate to give advice - macmillan are a great support and I found with both my parents that if they weren’t getting the help they needed/deserved I became very adept at using words like ‘safety’ and ‘danger to themselves and possibly others’ (clearly different circumstances to yours). This always got a swift reaction - the threat of a possible accident because of lack of their care produced almost instant results.

I shocked myself at how i fought like a tiger for them - and I still do with dad. My opening line when meeting new care staff is usually something like ‘you will learn to hate me very quickly’ said with a smile but I do mean it - I don’t care what they think of me but I make it quite clear I will stand for no nonsense and it does work. It is very exhausting though.

I hope you and FL are able to get some good quality time together over Christmas - Bless you both!

Jodie said...

Roo - as I headed into Christmas school break (2 blessed weeks away from teenagers, praise the Lord! However, I will be missing them by the time I'm to return to the classroom) I haven't been commenting. I'm glad that you are both home and I hope that you get the supports in place that YOU BOTH need to feel comfortable and safe. While you have a world wide sisterhood of readers, I know also that many are local to you. Don't hesitate to send up a flare should you need help. I wish I was close enough to hug you in person and run up with a container of soup or come to walk the dog. But all I can send is my good wishes (along with everyone else). Take care of yourself.