Wednesday, January 20, 2016

A Man of Few Words

Starting with the positives:  FL had a shower this morning and had many more drinks today than he has done in weeks.  He has developed a preference for ice-cold water, so I am keeping a bottle in the fridge for him.  He likes holding a heat pad against his sore ribs, wrapped in a hand knitted hat.

From the number of bags of washing in his wardrobe, he seemed to have had a bad night and was wearing a hospital-issue t shirt.  His arms are desperately, upsettingly thin.  But that is to be expected since he has not eaten anything at all for almost a week, and even before that he had only been having a few spoonfuls of food here and there.

The doctor is letting him sleep through the times when painkillers are "due" to try to help him find his own balance.

He was too weak to walk to the toilet today, even with the zimmer frame.

And he had nothing to say to me.  It was a very quiet day.

I did some work on my laptop from his bedside, which was appreciated by those who are having to cover my committees while I am absent from the workplace.

On my way home I collected a stack of library books, recommended by readers :)

So tonight I will be dipping into the following:

The Space Between Us by Thrity Umrigar
All The Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr
Beautiful Lies by Clare Clark

I have already decided I cannot bear to read A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman as it was making me anxious.  I have the Guardian Review to blame for that one being in my queue!

And I have the audio book of American Gods by Neil Gaiman to listen to in the car tomorrow.

That lot should keep me occuoied!


Wakeymakes said...

More Yorkshire love and hugs K xXx

Twelfthknit said...

I am Very British and don't hug, but I tentatively offer you one

CarolS said...

Hugs from me too. Glad all this care is really happening at long last. I love green juices but preferably those made by me or mine and drunk instantly, time oxidises them and spoils the zing of freshness.
Have a good read tonight and a fruitful Lidl visit perhaps tomorrow.

Charlotte said...

All I can think of is Yeats -- may you two enter a little eddy of peace:

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean rows will I have there, a hive for the honeybee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.
And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight's all a-glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet's wings.

I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements gray,
I hear it in the deep heart's core.

Adele Terrill said...

Hang in there x

Louise Perry said...

Hope one of the books suits you tonight.

Star speckles said...

Do keep taking care of yourself - can you make double portions of tea and take it to eat the next day? I've started doing this for work, and as it's no extra work or cooking.

Thinking of you


LitLot said...

Long, long time reader. And I find myself commenting, despite my 'no comment' policy!

So much admiration for your calmness and fortitude. You will look back at this time, months, even years from now, and know that you did the right thing. That you took the best possible care of FL that was possible in the circumstances.

Keep your feet planted firmly on the ground. You are a good woman.

Sarahel said...

I feel a lack of words today, like FL. I just feel how hard it all is and hope the reading provides some distraction for a while. And that you can rest. Emotion is so exhausting - to me more so than much physical exertion.

Lizzi said...

You are doing so well - you are a credit to us all.

MaryinTN said...

Thinking of you both. Much love!

sulkycat said...

A quiet day is fine, being next to each other is the important bit. When you are ready, do give Ove a try. As always, sending kindest thoughts to both of you.

Berta said...

I stumbled across your blog Monday, I spent the whole night reading it. The similarity to our life is uncanny. I see my future in the two of you. When you said FL had no words for you today, I felt that all to familiar pang in my heart. You are in my heart, my thoughts and prayers. God Bless.

rosylea said...

Thinking of you both. Glad you are able to have this quiet time together. R

Mairead Hardy said...

I've just started reading The Space Between Us and am already hooked! I hope you enjoy it.

Sending love and hugs.

Minigranny said...

Thinking of you both. x

Lynne said...

Warm thoughts and prayers... and a deep respect and admiration.

Susie Hewer said...

Thoughts and hugs to you both xxx

Dore Bettridge said...

From the foot of the Rockies, here in Colorado, I must thank you for all the love and warmth you have shared with the world as you and FL have walked this long path. I have followed your blog since I first discovered it when I was trying to understand how to support my dearest friend as he walked this pathway. There are no words that are adequate at this point of the journey. peace and grace for you and your family

E McAfee said...

Best wishes to you and FL from a stranger in Canada.

Just a word about American Gods - a strong theme through the book is the loss of a loved one. If you're looking for a Gaiman book that's more of a romp I'd listen to Anansi Boys.

TempestKnits said...

Sending love, Ruth. And can I just say, American Gods is a particular favourite of mine.