Sunday, January 24, 2016

Drinking Poison

FL is convinced that he drank poison in the night, because he awoke with a terrible taste in his mouth.
The only way he can rationalise it is to believe that he drank from his urine collection bag... um... I do hope not!
Doctor Google says this is a normal issue at this stage in proceedings.
I am not sure I like "normal" any more.
So when I arrived, FL was chain-drinking iced water and spitting into tissues.
He was quite "needy" today, with lots of requests for water or a change of position in bed.

Unfortunately for FL (and with no criticism intended of any of the frankly amazing staff in the hospice) there were others in greater need of the nurses' attention.
It was a busy day in the hospice, after three new admissions yesterday.
In the afternoon, an unfamiliar alarm went off and I could hear running feet and slamming doors. Things do not usually happen at a rapid pace in the hospice, because the worst thing that could possibly happen is the thing that everyone is expecting to happen.  People are calmly and quietly brought in... and taken out.
I don't know what happened.

Back at the farm, I have started to make the house into my home.
Instead of tidying round the edges of chaos, I have been reclaiming the space, both mentally and physically.
This morning I set up the kitchen table as my crafting space.
It felt good.




26 comments:

Lorna A said...

Hugs Roo, hugs xxx

Wakeymakes said...

Crafting is therapy. Keep it up. Yorkshire love and hugs K xXx

vintagerockchick said...

I am glad that at what must be THE most difficult time for you, that you are able to find a little time and space for yourself X

Knitlass said...

Wishing you both peace in the days and hours ahead.

Sarahel said...

It does feel good to exert some control, however seemingly small, when you can't control the big stuff. Looks like you've made a positive and colourful start.

More hugs and peaceful wishes.

Miss said...

Peace, love and an Aussie hug x

poppyinstitches said...

crafting helps me calmer, take care - thinking of you both x

Jane Neave said...

Thinking of you and sending hugs too xxx

Athene said...

No words really, but know that you have the virtual love and support of many followers, and not only those who comment on here.

India McMillan-Dickman said...

best wishes for all of you, including your dog

MaryinTN said...

Roo, I have no words that could possibly offer you or FL comfort other than you and FL are very much in my thoughts and prayers. Peace. Hugs.

Wendy Rader said...

Hugs from the US, to you and FL.

Charlotte said...

What everyone else is saying -- we're all out here, holding you in our hearts.

Jackie Dean said...

Sending you both love and hugs xx keep on crafting, I find it helps to occupy my mind and stops me thinking too much

Mary said...

I'm glad that the hospice staff are 'amazing' in Scotland as they were for my father and our family in New Zealand. It does help you to survive these difficult times. So glad too that you're reclaiming some of the house for peaceful and positive activities. You are both being very brave, it seems to me. Thinking of you both. Mary

Brenda said...

Your fortitude in this situation is amazing. Thinking of you and FL. Brenda

Lynn said...

Reclaiming your home from chaos seems like a brilliant move to me. I hope it helps you feel like your life is not totally out of your control.

Wishing, as always, peace.

leslie said...

Thinking of you and sending Canadian hugs your way

leslie said...

Thinking of you and sending Canadian hugs your way

rosylea said...

Wishing you both well, thinking of you often. R

Lynne said...

I love that you are sharing this... it is scary a bit, to read daily, but how must YOU feel, each day you wake up and wonder how FL is...?? So, it is good that we experience this a bit too, WITH YOU... and from the comments, there are a lot of folks with you in this. Hugs, love, prayers...

Louise Perry said...

Craft on.

Susie Hewer said...

Crafting distracts the mind doesn't it. You don't always have to be brave Roo but I'm sending you some virtual strength to help you through this harrowing time. Much love, Susie x

CarolS said...

Yes to making your home tidy, organised, your own. Yes to challenging crafting activity. I did my most complex piece of knitting ever while caring for my dying father (and my first baby at the same time). Kept me sane I think.
Poor FL, but the iced water can't hurt. Here's wishing him and you a peaceful night.
XX

Redhedhels said...

Hugs and thoughts, as always, to you both.

ambermog said...

More hugs, so pleased you are creating "your space" . creativity helps and having dedicated craft corners is good. More hugs xxx